In Another Life…

In another life, I would have been a dancer. I would have changed the world with my perfect pirouettes and emotional face.

In another life, I would have been a lover of surfboards and ocean tides. I would have spent every minute on the sea.

In another life, I would have been a taker of pictures. I would have shocked people with the images I captured from my lens.

I don’t have enough time to live three lifetimes in one. So in this lifetime, I have been given the words to express the others.

In this lifetime, I am able to craft the perfect sentences and phrases people need to hear.

In this lifetime I am a writer.

And maybe I don’t get to live out this life spending hours on the sea or taking a bow at a performance every night, but that doesn’t mean this lifetime is not important.

That doesn’t mean this lifetime is any less exciting than the others.

It just means that this lifetime is another part of me I need to focus on in order to help others and to help myself.

In another lifetime we could be anything. The possibilities extend as far as the stars.

But in this lifetime, we must focus on the cards we have been dealt and try to do the best we can with them.

We are around in this lifetime for a reason and it is our job to figure out that reason to the best of our abilities.

In another life…

I hope I remember how amazing this one was and all the great things that I did.

~Em❤︎

@prettygirllagoon

Dear Lover ♡

Dear Lover,

I wonder where you are and what you are doing . I wonder if you can feel the sun on your skin like I can now sitting on this bench. I wonder if you think the sky is a beautiful miracle like I do. I wonder if you are happy or filled with worry. I wonder if you ever wonder about me.

I wish I could meet you right now but I still have some growing to do. I am not ready for you, which means you probably are not ready for me either. I am a handful. A lot of work, but I am sweet and kind. I think God filled me with sunshine and sparkles. Elements that can only be found somewhere far out in space. A brilliant masterpiece but hard to contain.

I hope we better each other. I hope we can make each other laugh. I hope all the pain and heartache I have been through was worth it to get to you.

~EM♡

Feeling low…

I feel like I keep hitting rock bottom.

Over and over again.

Is that possible?

Breaking down a new foundation every time I land. Only to fall further down.

It feels worse each time.

I know we are suppose to get back up and put ourselves together again…but after the one-millionth time…how can we?

Why should we?

It is getting so hard to laugh through it all.

~Em♡

Feeling Lost and Behind in Life

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

This morning I opened my lifeless eyes and instinctively reached for the electronic version of my life (that I am definitely paying way too much for) and started scrolling through Instagram. Without even being on the App for more than 30 seconds I found out that Brian got a new job in NYC, Katie is traveling the world while simultaneously getting paid for it, Rachel just moved into her first apartment and all I could think about was how I haven’t even brushed my teeth yet.

I have unintentionally gotten into the horrible habit of starting my mornings off with comparing myself to everyone else’s highlight reel. That is how I got to where I am today….lost and feeling behind in everything.

In school we learn that there are certain steps you take to form a hypothesis. We learn that receiving an A on a paper is something you should be proud of and an F means you have some improvement to do. We are taught that there is an order to almost everything in life. You go to school to get a good job so you have money to get married and start a family and then you get old and then you die. That’s it. That is the basic timeline that has been laid out before us and if we stray from the norm, well that just makes us difficult.

Seeing my friends and people on social media reach their goals in society’s timely manner does not make me upset, it simply makes me question why I have not gotten there yet. Why do my dreams and my goals not match up with the majority of people out there? What if someone wants to go back to school when they are forty or what if someone never plans on getting married or what if a recent college graduate still isn’t sure what they want to do with the rest of their life?

Something I have learned recently is that it is okay to not know what your next move is and it is okay to not have everything figured out by the time you’re twenty-five. People move at their own pace and comparing your life right now, to everyone else’s highlight reel of accomplishments on Instagram is not reality. People post their best moments and their favorite versions of themselves. People aren’t pictures; they aren’t frozen moments in time. People are complex and emotional beings, who at the end of the day just want to feel like they are doing okay and meet society’s standards for whatever being okay really means.

Feeling Lost is the Key to Happiness

❤︎ The time in my life when I could say with a firm belief that I was feeling lost, was unbeknownst to me, the time I was truly finding myself. ❤︎

If you’re like me, and all the possibilities of what you could be and what you want overwhelm you, you have probably experienced the sinking feeling of being lost. Not knowing where to start and not knowing how to become happy and satisfied with your life is more common than one would think.

Well….good news. Being lost means you’re half way there.

The best part about being lost is that it does not matter the direction you go because you don’t know where you’re going. Once you get rid of the plan society has ingrained in your mind since birth, there are endless possibilities ahead and many avenues to turn down.

Once I started spending more time with myself and understanding what makes ME smile and what makes ME laugh and what makes ME want to get out of bed in the morning, that is when I felt myself starting to find my way.

All the nights crying and feeling like I had no purpose in this life because I didn’t have my dream job and I didn’t have more than a couple of friends and I didn’t have a “perfect” body, led me to figuring out who I am and what I want out of life.

I encourage you to look at yourself and even if it doesn’t seem special or important…what are you good at? What are your hobbies? What makes you forget to check the time? What makes you feel excited about starting? If you could have your dream job, even if it doesn’t exist yet…what would it be? What do you want your days to look like and who and what do you want them to be filled with?

These are the questions you need to ask yourself because at the end of the day it doesn’t matter what society wants you to be or your teachers or your family; it matters what YOU want. You have to live with yourself everyday and you are the only one who can prevent yourself from feeling lost. No one knows you better than yourself.

Writing is something I love. I also enjoy helping people and if I could do that through the words I type out from a keyboard, well that would be just wonderful.

Feeling lost and behind in life is something we put on ourselves. It is all in our own heads. Contrary to popular belief, there is not a timeline or a set of rules everyone must follow in order to live their life “the right way.” There is no guarantee we even have tomorrow, so why should we waste our time doing things that don’t makes us happy or worse, living a life someone else has curated for us? The answer is…we shouldn’t!

~EM♡

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

The Writer ❤︎

“Let me live, love, and say it well in good sentences.”

Sylvia Plath

I have heard it said once or twice that I am too young to have problems or too young to understand love or too young to be fearful. Well I am here to tell you that it does not matter if you’re fifteen or ninety-nine, love is love and pain is pain and I, like many other people in their twenties, have already been through the ringer.

In Short: My name is Emily and I’m just your average 20-something girl who is trying to get a grip on her life. “Pretty Girl Lagoon” is my safe space and my outlet. The place to write all the things I’ve been thinking and feeling for so long, but have never had the courage to say.

I hope you have the courage to pursue something you’ve always wanted to do. Something that has been stirring in the back of your mind but fear has been keeping it from becoming a reality.

I hope something you read here resonates with you and I hope you know that whatever you may be going through, you are not alone.

♡Em